smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
