of course. lets lasso hookers.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
