Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Shame is for Republicans.
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