So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
