if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
