i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
