How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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