i'm lost and i look like a hooker
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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