Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
