Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
