:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
