forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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