she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
