This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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