8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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