we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
