it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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