Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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