I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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