Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
