HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
