Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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