I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
