Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
