we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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