She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Never joke about your clitoris.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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