At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
