hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize