bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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