I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
