her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
