hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
