In the future we'll all be gay
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
