I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
