It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
