She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
