i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
