Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
