So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
