i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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