I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
