tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
