Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
