I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Shame - the story of my life.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
