Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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