my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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