My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
