the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
