At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
