im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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