I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
And then he peed in my hair
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