Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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