He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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